Sense and Senselessness

We live in the 11th arrondissement maybe three minutes' walk from Le Bataclan, which is maybe three minutes' walk from the offices of Charlie Hebdo. For some reason, our neighbourhood has been at the centre of a whole lot of violence in the last year. There might be something special or infamous about where we live. Equally, there might not.

It was easier to dismiss the January attacks; Charlie Hebdo is a controversial publication which was under constant security. They had been hit before. It was horrifying, but it made some sense.

After last night's "fusillade," that logic is out the window. Le Bataclan is a significant live music venue, but it's not the biggest in Paris, nor the most famous. Stade de France is very big and very famous, but these attacks were not in the stadium. And where does this leave Le Petit Cambodge?

We try to find links, a pattern to follow to ensure that we're safe. It makes sense, sadly, that an attack may occur at or near a French football match - the President was there, after all. We can avoid large displays of nationalism, sports, culture or otherwise. But must we also avoid all American rock bands? Was it something about the name Eagles of Death Metal? Do we stay inside on Friday the 13th? Never patronise Cambodian restaurants? How long is a piece of string?

Today, my partner and I want to go Christmas shopping. The malls are open, which in itself seems extraordinary, but that's just the attitude here - to change one's plans would be to admit defeat.

Making the day's schedule is one big logic exercise: we should avoid the Metro, because that's an obvious target. We shouldn't go to Les Halles - the mall in the centre of Paris - because there were reports of attacks there last night. We will head for a mall well outside the central city, because somehow that seems safer.

But should we even leave the house at all? These attacks might not be finished, and there could be copycats and co-conspirators awaiting their turn. But then, what makes tomorrow safer than today? Maybe we should leave it three days, just to be safe? We want to lean on some clear-cut logic for reassurance, but last night just wasn't logical. These terrorists aren't following the script.

In a totally unrelated setting, as a Wellingtonian, I've felt something similar to this before. We are overdue for a major earthquake. We have been my whole life. My primary school was on the fault line. We practiced and prepared, and we carefully constructed our buildings, and we gathered emergency supplies. And it was Christchurch who were hit the worst. 

As sensible people, we want to rationalise what happened last night, to make sense of the senseless. But I'm not a security expert and I don't know how this works. So I'm doing what all of my French neighbours are doing, and just carrying on; just doing whatever it is I do each day. And today we're going to the mall.